Uncle podger Hangs a Picture

You never saw such a commotion up and down a house in all your life, as when my Uncle podger undertook to do a job . A picture would have come from the frame-makers and be standing in the dining -room waiting to be put up. Aunt podger world would ask what was to be done with it, and Uncle podger would say.

"Oh, you leave that to me. Don't you any of you, worry yourselves about that. I'll do all that."

And then he would take off his coat, and begin. He would send the girl out for sixpen' orth of nails, and then one of the boys after her to tell her what size to get.

"Now you go and get me my harmer, will," he would snout, "and you bring me the rule, Tom I shall want the step-ladder, and I had better have a kitchen-chair, too. And  don't you go, Marria, because I shall want somebody to told me the light. When the girl comes back she must go out again for a bit of picture cord. "Tom ! Where's Tom ?-Tom, you came here, I shall want you to hand me up the picture.

And then he world lift up the picture, and drop it, and it world come out of the frame. He world try to save the glass and cut himself. Then he world spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know where he had put the coat. All the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat, while he world dance round and hinder them.

We world find the harmer for him, and then he world have lost sight of the mark he had made on the wall, where the nail was to go in. Each of us had to get up on the chair beside him, and see if we could find it. We world each discover it in a different place, and he world call us all fools. 

Trying to reach a point three inches what was possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would slide on the piano.

At last , Uncle podger would get the spot fixed, and put the point of the nail on it with his left hand, and take the hammer, in his right hand. And with the first blow, he world smash his thumb, and take the hammer, with a yell, on somebody's toes.

Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle podger was going to hammer a nail into the wall, she hoped he let her know in time. She could then make arragements to go and spend a week with her mother while it was being done.

"Oh ! You woman, you make such a fuss over everything." Uncle podger would reply picking himself up. "Why, I like doing job of this sort."